


The Divine Power of Ichiraku Ramen

by esmeraldablazingsky



Series: The Akatsuki vs. Ayame [3]
Category: Naruto
Genre: BAMF ayame, Crack, GET READY FOR THE FINAL CHAPTER, Gen, Humor, Ichiraku Ramen - Freeform, Ramen, itachi is only there to watch, no pairings only ramen, so much ramen, unneccessarily dramatic wording, who would win: the god of amegakure or 9 bowls of ramen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-28
Updated: 2017-08-28
Packaged: 2018-12-20 20:52:44
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,501
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11929050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/esmeraldablazingsky/pseuds/esmeraldablazingsky
Summary: Pain has one mission: to defeat the so-called Nine-Tails Challenge.Konan has no intention to try it herself.However, they may have miscalculated...





	The Divine Power of Ichiraku Ramen

It was a clear, sunny morning dawning in Konoha, and the God of Amegakure had a mission. Pain strode into the village with Konan at his side, drawing a couple of slightly alarmed glances from passing citizens, but nothing that suggested that they thought this was anything out of the ordinary. 

"I believe this is where Itachi and the others were," said Konan, pointing out to, in Pain's opinion, a rather unimpressive ramen stall. 

But, he knew, looks could be deceiving. Pain ducked into the stall and was met by the confident stare of a young woman behind the counter with dark hair pushed behind her shoulders and eyes that held no mercy. Was this the Nine-Tails?

"Are you here for the Nine-Tails special?" she asked. Just as Pain had expected- an unassuming enemy who held unfathomable power. The girl smiled and invited Pain and Konan to sit down.

"I recognize the cloaks," she said, preparing dishes behind the counter. "Tell your associates Ayame says hi." 

So that was her name- Ayame. The foe that had incapacitated the rest of the Akatsuki single-handedly, if Itachi was to be believed. 

"Are you ready for this?" asked Ayame, the smell of rich, savory pork broth wafting up from behind the counter.

"Of course," said Pain. "I have endured suffering much greater than anything you could inflict on me. I am God, and your trivial mortal challenges could never-"

"Okay, okay," said Ayame impatiently, waving a ladle back and forth. "If you're really God, then whatever, don't expect me to go easy on you."

"Ayame, don't," said an older man from behind the worryingly confident ramen girl.

"I'm fine, dad," said Ayame, then turned to Konan. 

"Are you doing it too?" Ayame asked, and Konan shook her head graciously.

"Maybe later," she said, and Ayame shrugged.

"Fair enough," she said. "Now, whoever you are- there's no time limit, so whenever you're ready. Also, no switching bodies, because I feel like that needs to be specified for some reason." 

Ayame of the Nine-Tails Ramen Challenge had some sort of otherworldly knowledge, Pain was sure. Nevertheless, he accepted the challenge in the name of avenging his subordinates' defeat. 

Pain opened his mouth for another speech, but Ayame placed the first bowl before him with a clatter of ceramic and chopsticks, and all words were lost. 

"Here you go," she said with a smile that belied her true intentions. "See if you can beat the current record holder."

"Isn't there a set amount of bowls?" asked Konan mildly. 

"Doesn't mean you can't keep going," said Ayame, "but your buddies were all out cold after almost eight bowls." 

Only eight bowls?! This ramen must have supernatural properties, decided Pain, starting in on bowl number one. He would be the one to finally defeat this challenger. He would.

 

Pain was beginning to doubt himself after only five bowls. They were getting steadily larger as he went along, and it was starting to get very, very noticeable. This was how Ayame had defeated the other Akatsuki, he knew now.

On top of that, there was now another competitor at the scene.

"Oh, hello, Naruto," said Ayame. She turned to Pain and Konan.

"Meet our record-holder," she said, gesturing at the yellow-haired kid now sitting next to Konan at the counter.

"Heya," said the kid, apparently Naruto. "Who are you guys?" 

"I am Konan, and this is Pain, God of Amegakure," Konan introduced the both of them. 

"The what now," said Naruto, then shrugged. "Those are some pretty weird names. Okay, then- could I have some ramen?"

"Sure," said Ayame. "Care to try the challenge again?"

"Again?" asked Konan curiously.

"He beat it with flying colors yesterday while the others were here," said Ayame, handing Pain his sixth bowl without looking up from preparing one for Naruto. 

Pain watched Naruto devour his ramen, wondering if there was a secret behind his limitless capacity for savory broth and fresh noodles, but there didn't seem to be one, and Pain started to feel sick just looking at the amount of noodles Naruto was consuming. He turned back to his own challenge, determined not to fail. 

He almost made it, but not quite. Pain finally admitted defeat after just barely reaching the midpoint of the eighth bowl, wondering how he could possibly have been bested by this unassuming- if a bit brash and bossy- ramen shop owner's daughter. 

Ayame smiled calmly as she collected Pain's bowls and surveyed the defeated God, slumped against the counter in immeasurable agony. 

"Are you alright?" asked Konan, worried. Naruto paused for a moment in his single-minded destruction of his own ramen challenge, then shrugged and went back to ignoring the two Akatsuki members occupying Ichiraku Ramen next to him. 

"I-Impossible," groaned Pain, and Ayame raised an eyebrow, wiping broth from her side of the counter. 

"I cannot have been defeated," said Pain in utter despair and shock, none of which showed on his impassive face, but Konan's lips tightened and she placed her hands on the counter, looking up into Ayame's steely gaze. 

"One Nine-Tails Challenge," she said, her voice clear and measured, and Ayame nodded solemnly, whipping out another set of bowls. 

"I'm ready," said Konan just as Ayame set the first trial in front of her, and Naruto finished off his current bowl to watch, perhaps sensing a change in atmosphere as Konan stared down into her bowl with determination bright in her amber eyes. 

The fluttering of countless wings filled the air as Itachi ducked into the stall, activating his Sharingan to get a clearer view of what was going on.

Seemingly oblivious to the small crowd watching her, Konan set her shoulders and began the challenge. 

Pride sparked in Pain's chest as he watched Konan demolish her first bowl of ramen, which was rather surprising given he had been certain there was no room left inside him for anything but ramen. Ayame handed Konan a second bowl and she plowed straight through it with something like vengeful bloodlust on her face.

This, thought Pain, was true loyalty. There was a reason he trusted Konan above anyone else. 

Still, he was surprised when Konan worked her way through a third, then a fourth bowl with relative ease, stopping to breathe only after being handed her fifth, then diving back in with renewed fervor. Naruto watched with wide, awestruck eyes, Itachi seemed rather disturbed but still deeply intrigued, and even Ayame was starting to look truly impressed. 

By the time Konan was on her seventh bowl, everyone was staring at her with their undivided attention, and Pain was starting to slip into a food coma just from watching her. 

Ayame pushed the eighth bowl over the counter in silence and Konan stared at it for a moment, trying to catch her breath, before picking it up and gulping it down as if she hadn't eaten for days, which was visibly untrue. 

Ayame's hands shook as she finally slid the ninth bowl over to Konan, watching in breathless anticipation as she picked up her chopsticks, looking even paler than usual, and twirled noodles around her utensils in neat spirals. 

By the time Konan was halfway through the final bowl, nobody had dared to breathe in five minutes and the air was so silent every little noise sounded like an explosion from the watchers' anxious perspective. 

Well, in Pain's case, the lack of breathing was mostly because his lungs couldn't expand very far, but he was glad to attribute it to nervousness, which was something he hadn't felt in a long time. 

Ayame's eyes widened as Konan picked up the last few noodles, stared at them for a few seconds as if looking for an epiphany, and then put them in her mouth, chewed, and swallowed in a final, swift movement. 

There was silence for a few more seconds as the observers dared to believe what they had just witnessed. 

"Wow!" shouted Naruto, jumping onto his chair, blue eyes sparkling with admiration for Konan, who managed a smile. 

Naruto launched into a long, hyperactive string of words, bouncing around like he hadn't just completed the challenge himself, for the second time in two days, no less. 

"You're amazing!" yelled Naruto, then looked to Pain, Itachi, and Ayame in delight. "Did you see that?!?!?!?" he demanded, grabbing Pain by the shoulders. 

When Naruto shook him around, all Pain could feel was- well, pain, but there was a certain measure of pride there too, maybe. 

"Good job," said Ayame, bowing respectfully. Konan smiled again, more sincerely this time.

"I believe my job here is finished," she said, standing up with only minimal wincing. "Nagato, we should return to base." 

"Come back soon!" shouted Naruto as Konan and Itachi helped Pain to his feet. "We should rematch!!"

"Perhaps," said Konan, and vanished, leaving Ayame standing in shock. 

"Wow," said Teuchi. 

"Wow," agreed Ayame. 

 

The outraged shouts of the rest of the Akatsuki could be heard all the way from Konoha. 

 

~end~

**Author's Note:**

> WOOHOO you made it to the end of this ?????? series that I wrote all in one day! Leave a comment if you liked it pls, thanks in advance and good night I need sleep now


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